Finals! November 9, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in university.1 comment so far
Hey everyone,
Today marks the start of a very scary week for me.
Today is my very first paper of my finals this semester. This week, I have 4 papers altogether to take. Which means a whole week of sleepless nights.
Part of me is extremely nervous to the point where every freaking minute I am thinking if I have done enough for my finals. I can tell you, the answer is no. I have never felt this unprepared for my finals before, in my entire 15 years of schooling life.
Yet, part of me is excited. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because starting my first paper means I am a step closer to the last one. Maybe it’s because it means I am going home soon; the semester break is coming. I don’t know. I am just excited. =)
On twitter, Paulo Coelho wrote “When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you” and then later he wrote “The whole universe helps when you want something. It does not select positive or negative thoughts. Be careful.”
So, I am going to end this post by saying,
PLEASE MR./MISS/MRS. UNIVERSE. I WANT TO REMEMBER WHAT I NEED TO REMEMBER FOR MY FINAL EXAMS THANKYOUVERYMUCHYOUKNOWILOVEYOU!
Things Happen For A Reason November 6, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in introspection, something personal.3 comments
Things happen for a reason.
Every gust of wind, every leaf that falls from a tree, every time your shoe lace comes untied, every person you smile at or just pass by – it all happens for a reason. Some times, the effect of these happenings are too small or too insignificant for us to realise.
Last night, I opened my Gmail inbox, out of habit. I have this very OCD-ish habit, where I MUST check my email all the time, and I leave my Gmail window open as long as I am online.
Anyway, point is I opened my Gmail and I saw an email. It was the first email I noticed among a bunch of unread emails. I think it’s because of its cute title =)
This email could have come at any time, but it didn’t. It came last night.
You see, I had a decision to make. It isn’t some big important decision that will affect the whole world or the people around me, but the decision I make is very important to me.
Like I said, things happen for a reason. =)
I can’t say that I am very certain with my decision or I have fully made up my mind, but the email did help.
=)
My New Love November 4, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in photos.7 comments
If you’ve been reading my blog, you’d know that my love has always been my Canon Ixus 80is.
Then you would also know that 2 months ago, my dear love “died”. Sigh. What a tragic event that was.
[Read My Love and Rest In Peace, My Darling]
Since then, I have been using a really old camera, a Sony T1, as a rebound. If you would have noticed, I haven’t been posting pictures because I am not really comfortable using the Sony camera and I don’t really like the pictures that I take with it.
But! Now not any more =) I have a new love.
A Canon Ixus 100is. It’s actually the exact same one as SmallSis Loi’s but her’s is red.
I am super happy cause now I can start taking pictures again!
Look forward to the pictures =)
—
Note: I modified my Yours Truly page. Just a little. Check it out =)
Ah Kong November 3, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in introspection, something personal.9 comments
I just read Audrey’s blog, A Moment of Silence was her most recent entry.
Her entry was short, but I felt extremely sad after reading it. It reminded me of my grandfather.
It was in the year 2000 when he passed away. It was so sudden. That morning, 9 years ago, my grandfather started coughing and I don’t know what happened but what I know is he was sent to the hospital and he died there. I wasn’t by his side.
I was not there during his funeral. I was sitting for UPSR. The day he was buried was my last day of UPSR.
I remembered feeling really bad that I couldn’t be there. I can’t remember what paper was my last paper but I remember so clearly how I tried so hard to hold my tears. I couldn’t concentrate. In my head, I kept saying “I’m sorry Ah Kong. I can’t make it to your funeral. I really want to. I’m sorry you had to go so soon. I’m sorry for not being able to be the best granddaughter you can have. I’m sorry.” I was hoping he could hear me. I almost burst into tears in the exam hall.
Suddenly, a gust of wind entered the hall and, as strange as this may sound, I caught the scent of my grandfather. My grandfather has this smell that is very much, I should say his scent, with his combination of powder, cologne and what not. I remember looking up from my paper immediately when I caught his scent. I thought he was there. I looked around me to see where the smell had come from but nobody was around me, just my friends. I stared into space for awhile, wondering. I realised a few minutes later that maybe, just maybe my grandfather was there with me in the exam hall. Maybe Ah Kong did come. Maybe he heard me and came to tell me that he will always be there for me and supporting me in whatever I do.
I have not told many people about this and I don’t really like talking about it because I don’t know if I can hold my tears when I do. Till now I still believe that Ah Kong was there in the exam hall with me as I took my last UPSR paper.
I still miss him. Sometimes I worry that I might forget how he looks like, how he sounds like and he smells like but I worry too much. I still remember, very clearly.
My Fattening Week November 3, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in rambles.8 comments
I just got back to Penang today.
My weekend home was really amazing and extremely fattening. Let me tell you why.
Friday night; dinner; when I arrived home – KL Black Hokkien Mee, Wa Tan Hor and Grilled Sting Ray with Four-Angled Beans. Dessert was Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Saturday afternoon; lunch; Baskin Robbins Day – Rice, some herbal duck dish, and something else I don’t remember X). Dessert was Baskin Robbins Ice-Cream, Andaman’s Pisang Goreng (Fried Banana)
Saturday; between lunch and dinner – Baskin Robbins Ice-Cream, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and pisang goreng.
Saturday night; dinner – 3 KGS OF CRAB OMG. 1 kg of sweet and sour crabs and 2 kgs of HONEY-BAKED CRABS (orgasmic I tell youuu)
Saturday midnight till Sunday morning – ice-cream ^^
Sunday afternoon; lunch – Mum’s cooking!!
Yeah, now can you imagine what kind of weekend I had?
Home Surprise October 31, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in something personal.8 comments
This week is the study week for students of Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM). Monday, 2nd November marks the first day of 3 weeks of final exams.
Like many students, I chose to stay in uni to study instead of going home for the break although my first paper is on the 9th November.
Then, I saw this on BigSis Loi’s facebook: Alicia Loi can’t wait for HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything was so spontaneous. I started talking to BigSis Loi and I thought, “Hmm, should I go home too?”
I really wanted to go home, but you know, I have to study! Hehe. Yeah yeah I hear you guys going “Riiiiiiight” Really ok! I studied. Sort of.
I was in a dilemma. Cause if I go home I won’t study so how?!
BigSis Loi later told me that Bro-In-Law will be back in Subang with her too. That was the moment I decided to go home.
It’s not easy to get the WHOLE family together and I thought it would be a great idea to go back, to complete the picture. Sweeet right me? Hahaha x)
But going back just like that is no fun. I started planning with the Loi Sisters. I was going home without the knowledge of my parents.
I had to be very careful, cause MummyLoi has Facebook. Anything I post on Facebook, well, it means she will know. So I avoided mentioning about home for that few days which was very difficult cause I was super excited.
On the day I decided to go home, MummyLoi called me and asked if I wanted to go home this weekend. Hehe. So I told her “Noooooo. I need to study” Ok, soooo I lied. I wanted to surprise my parents, so I had good intentions 
Tuesday – went to Aeroline office to buy my bus ticket home.
Wednesday – informed Loi Sisters. The plan was to have the Loi Sisters and Bro-In-Law come pick me up from Sunway Pyramid on Friday night. They can always tell the parents that they wanna go shopping. Smart right?
Thursday – Packed.
Friday – The day. x)
Sat bus, watched Wanted on laptop, did not sleep the whole way. There was one point the bus got stuck in a jam, I knew I was back in Subang Jaya. It’s just how it is, traffic jams – the essence of Subang Jaya. I got stuck at the stretch of road in front of the Sunway Hospital for 30 minutes ok!
Reached Pyramid and the Loi Sisters, Bro-In-Law and nephew, Alex was there hehe. Ok, skip details. Straight to surprise.
When I reached home, the front door was closed. I knocked.
My mum opened the door and stared at me for the longest time. Hahahaha!
Then she asked me “What are you doing here?! Aren’t you supposed to be studying?!” HAHAHAHA!
When DaddyLoi saw me, his reaction was the same too. Hehehe.
MummyLoi kept beating me on the shoulder. I think she was trying to see if I was real XD
The whole trouble of going to Queensbay to get the tickets, and not to mention that I am rm110 poorer now, it was all SO worth it in the end.
—
SmallSis Loi said “I am so happy that all of you are back. Everytime you guys are back, I have alot of food to eat.” Hahah which is true.
For dinner, we had Hokkien Mee (KL style, the black black one; my favourite!), grilled sting ray with 4-angled beans (both from ss 15 which is the best!) then dessert we had grapes, pickled mangoes and KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS!
Then tomorrow we are going out for dinner. Either seafood in Klang or some BBQ thingy in ss19. Hohoho.
Oh oh and my Window 7 upgrade is heeeere.
Ok. Very tired but very hyper also. Enjoying home’s internet. Later!
To end this post, I must say
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! XD
Keep Burning October 20, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in introspection, university.7 comments
Tomorrow I take my final test and pass up the last report I am going to write for this semester.
I should be letting out a sigh of relief but I can’t. Next week is my study week already. In 2 weeks, the final exams season starts. The only thing I am looking forward to is a month later. I will be flying home =)
How fast time flies. Already I am finishing my third semester and I’m moving into my fourth semester. 3 more semesters before I graduate and become a degree holder.
Honestly, I cannot wait for this semester to end. This semester was one tough one for me in every aspect.
Academically, it has been a huge disappointment. Compared to last year, I don’t think my subjects are as difficult as the subjects I took last semester yet I am performing much much worse than before. If you have been following my blog, my academic results are extremely important to me. I know that my academic results are not everything but they do matter, a lot. I did not manage to get into the Dean’s list last semester, I don’t see that happening this semester. I have a goal of graduating with at least a CGPA of 3.50. After this semester, I am gonna have to do damn blardy well for the next 3 semesters. Sigh.
Physically, well, I obviously haven’t been taking care of myself. I’ve been falling sick more frequently and I’ve been having frequent headaches which are not a good sign. I either sleep to little or too much. Most of the time I don’t take lunch (No, I am NOT trying to lose weight so don’t worry. I just don’t feel like eating lunch sometimes) and late at night I eat junk. The only exercise I get is when I walk to classes. I know how bad my lifestyle is right now, which is why I’ve made it a point to walk to ALL my classes. Even if it means walking uphill.
If I were to sum up this whole semester in one word, it has to be disappointment. I was expecting to do much better this semester, I thought I would be able to pull my grades up; I thought my time management would be better; I thought I would be able to perform better in many other things in many ways but I did not.
I did not do a lot of things I thought I would and I said I would.
Now, all I wanna do is do my best in the coming final exams and not make this disappointment any worse.
I have a lot of self-reflection to do for this semester but one thing is for sure, I am not going to give up on anything. I still remember telling myself that I am not going to graduate from University asking myself “What have I achieved?” Nopes, that is not going to happen. I won’t let it happen.
Keep Burning =)
“Keep Burning” I have to keep telling myself that and I will.
Note:
This picture is in a Facebook photo album I have – The Little Things That Matter.
Heylo! October 5, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in uncategorized.add a comment
I am going to be so super busy for the next 2 weeks.
Tests, presentations, projects and classes and I am 2 weeks away from my study week.
Next week USM is going to have German Week which will be really exciting! There will be German companies and universities coming and Volkswagen too! German Learners (ppl like me who is taking German lessons) have to help out during German week. So yups, my next week is gonna be extremely packed.
So if you guys wanna be updated with me, follow my Twitter la. I don’t think I can find the time to update my blog anytime soon.
To everyone who is busy, as busy as me or even busier, GOOD LUCK!
See you guys soon!
The Light September 28, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in introspection, something personal.4 comments
There were a few distinct moments in my life that led me to become who I am today.
I am not saying that I have ‘perfected myself’ in any way cause I know I have so much more to learn and so much more to discover about Me. Besides if I somehow managed to achieve perfection (which I think is extremely impossible) don’t you think my life would be an extremely boring one?
To compare the current Me with the previous one, there is a huge difference I should say. I am not talking about my physical appearance ok! I know I used to have some hair issues, skin issues and a fashion crisis but I am only human X)
The ‘huge difference’ I was talking about is the way I think. I guess you could use the word mature here. I think I have matured tremendously.
The Me then always thought that in one’s darkest days, a light will always find you to brighten your life up; to make things better.
Now I know that that is not always true.
During the darkest of days, I always go all out to try to find that ray of light. Cause I know that it will lead me to the exit. To get me out of this dark tunnel.
Family Reunion in PeeDee September 24, 2009
Posted by jessieloi in photos, vacations and trips.8 comments
Last Friday (18th September), I arrived in Subang Jaya at around at midnight. It was sooo good to be home =)
I was really looking forward to the Family Reunion my Mum and her sisters (my aunts) have been planning. It was held in Port Dickson.
Now majority of the reaction I get when I say I have a family reunion in Port Dickson (I like to call PeeDee) is “WHAT WHY PEEDEE?!? SO DIRTY!”
Let me explain.
Port Dickson is my parents’ home town. It is in PeeDee that they grew up, fell in love X) and married. It is in PeeDee that my sisters, my cousins and I spent most of our holidays, played together and grew up to become who we are now. In short, PeeDee means alot to my parents and to me.
So on Sunday, the first day of Raya, we headed off to PeeDee =)
#1. Port Dickson. An abandoned railway station behind my Ah Kong's house.
When I was younger, every time we had trips to PeeDee, we stayed at my late Grandfather’s house (my mum’s Dad who I fondly call Ah Kong). The house is over 100 years old but I love that place. A few years after Ah Kong passed away in 2000, the house was closed permanently because of termites and what not. So the adults didn’t think it was safe for us to stay there anymore.
This house is very very precious to me. I spent so much of my childhood here.
#2. Back door and porch
#2. This is the back door to my Ah Kong’s house. The porch looks small, but back then it was actually pretty spacious. Enough for us to place a long table outside so that the kids (meaning cousins and I) could have our dinner outdoors. Thinking back, it was a pretty cool thing to do. The back door was always open. So we could run in and out any time we wanted.
I was pretty shocked to see how much things have changed when I saw that area on Sunday. There used to be a HUGE drain in front of the back porch. The drain was big. Imagine this la. If it is filled with flowing water, you’d probably drown in it. If not, you’d break your leg if you fall in it. Now it’s so small, you’d probably just scratch your legs if you fall in.
#3. Back yard
#3. shows the back yard of another house. It’s right opposite the back porch of Ah Kong’s house. This is where my cousins and I always play. I remember vividly the masak masak (cooking) sessions we used to have. We gathered dry leaves and sticks and started a fire using my dad’s lighter. Hahaha it was super fun! My Ah Ma (grandma; mum’s mother) is the coolest! She gave us an old unwanted pot and rice for us to cook! We filled the pot she gave us with water and literally boiled the water then we threw the rice she gave us in. Of course we cannot be satisfied just because of that right? So we grabbed green leaves from the trees around us and started pounding them with rocks to extract the green ‘juice’ hehe. We had green rice in the end. =) Super fun!
#4. LittleSis Loi, peeping Tom. *Click to enlarge*
We couldn’t enter the house, so LittleSis Loi started using her camera to take pictures through the key hole of the door. The picture on the right of #4. is the front door to Ah Kong’s house.
#5. Through a keyhole, from the back door. Taken by LittleSis Loi with her new Canon Ixus 100is.
#6. Madam Khoo and her daughters X)
The next day we had picnic! by the beach. Oh my even the beach area I always frequent has changed.
#7. LittleSis Loi and I
#8. Taken with Sony T1 at different times. *Click to enlarge*
The weather was beautiful that day =) The sky was sooo blue and the shade of the blue kept changing! Look at picture #8. Oh that was taken with a Sony T1, BigSis Loi’s old camera which she gave to LittleSis Loi. LittleSis Loi has a new camera now – Canon Ixus 100is. So I’m using it till I get a new one.
#9. *Click to enlarge*
#10. *Click to enlarge*
The time at the beach was pretty relaxing and time was moving soooo slow. Something I have not experienced for a very long time. When you are a university student you should know. Time passes by extremely fast. Sometimes too fast for you to keep up.
So the change of pace at the beach was a good change =) I was lying down, reading. Otherwise I will be taking photos. Fantastic day if you ask me hehe.
#11. A page from the book Anne Frank.
#12.
#13.
#14. Amazing sky. OK This picture was taken because of the sky k! NOT my fat ass.
#15. Candid shot. Taken by my cousin with her camera. For some reason there was this 'glow' around me hahaha.
#16.
#17. Reach for the sky - Taken by me with Canon Ixus 100is.
#18. Reach for the sky 2 - Taken by LittleSis Loi with Canon Ixus 100is.
#19. My current desktop background hehe
#20.
#21. LittleSis Loi
#22. LittleSis Loi, erm.
#23. My third aunt, 3yee (pronounced Sa-Yee)
We had so much to eat! Syok =) Then we had cold 100plus to drink and ice cream to eat. X)
#24. The Diary of a Young Girl: Anne Frank. Amazing book.
At one point, the sun was too hot to bare so I moved to a shady area under the tree. I was reading and then I fell asleep. While I was sleeping, the sun moved and I was sleeping (sleeping on my tummy with the back facing the sky) under the hot blazing sun. I did not wake up =/ So yeah, imagine what happened. Lucky thing I put sun block on otherwise I would have been roasted.
#25.
That night we had dinner at the Royal Yacht Club. This Club has been here for ages. My dad used to work at this Club when he was younger. It was here even before we had Independence. The Royal Yacht Club is a place where you be a member, then you can use their facilities like their gym, pool etc. You can sit there to drink and eat. And it is directly in front of the beach. This is also the place I actually sort of grew up in. I frequent this place alot when I am back in PeeDee cause 2 of my aunts are members.
#26. MummyLoi, DaddyLoi, LittleSis Loi and Me =)
#27. LittleSis Loi and I
#28. MummyLoi and I
#29. DaddyLoi and I
#30. Cousin Jo Yi and I
#31. Cousins Shanon and I
#32. Ah Ma and I
I used to dread going to family reunions or family events, but since I went to Penang to study I started to learn how to cherish and appreciate family events.
I have missed so many birthday celebrations and in 2 weeks, I am going to miss one more. I am kinda sad to know that but it’s alright. Now I have this Port Dickson trip to look back on and laugh about and hopefully in December when I am back home for my semester break, there will another family event waiting for me =)
